Open with

Thanks for making time. I'm here to learn what you're seeing and make sure both houses are doing the same things.

Questions for Jess, in order

1. Have the counseling permission forms come back, and have you started seeing him? If not: what do you need from us to start?
2. What are you seeing in the classroom? Do the hard moments cluster on certain days or times: mornings, after lunch, after a switch between houses?
3. What's working when he gets regulated? What do the teachers do that brings him back?
4. What should both homes do the same way? Give us the script and we'll both use it.
5. How do you want to hear from us going forward: email, a check-in every couple of weeks?

About my house (short, no comparison)

• Scary stuff is out. We stopped the Spirit Halloween trips. He won't go as Chucky.
• Ten minutes a day of one-on-one play where he leads and I narrate and praise. He asks for it now.
• Only if discipline comes up: moved off spanking; calm short time-out in his room; reading The Explosive Child. Say it once.
• He struggles most with gentleness: toys, the cats. I'd like a plan for that.

Agree to, out loud

• Anything Jess recommends.
• Anything Danielle proposes that matches the school: "I'm good with that."
• If it doesn't match: "Let's go with whatever Jess recommends."

Do not say

• Nothing about the case, custody, schedule, tuition, Vermont, her messages.
• Nothing about her sleep, shifts, or house.
• No "we've both made mistakes." No apologies.
• Fewer school days / keep him home: "I'd like him in full-day school. Jess, what do you think is best for him?" Then stop.
• Something about you: "I don't agree, and this meeting is about Grayson." Once. Back to Jess.

Close with

So we agreed on [X, Y, Z]. I'll send a quick note so we all have it the same way. Thank you.

After: write down who agreed to what.